Communication is the cornerstone of all human relationships. Since we interact with many different people every day, how can we use our communication to enhance our own and others lives?
It has been said that we all have common desires - to be heard and validated. There are communication tools that we can use to bring these desires into reality.
Sometimes we feel it is important to make a good impression and so we begin talking and talking in order to give as much information as possible, so as to appear as interesting as possible. In fact, the best impression you can make is to let the other person know you are interested in what THEY have to say.
When you give someone your full attention, when you are truly there with them in that moment, you are giving that person a gift. This may seem like an exaggeration, so let’s look at it another way…
Don’t we feel valued when we know that someone is really present with us, listening to and understanding what we are saying? Even if that person does not agree with all of our viewpoints, isn’t our relationship with them strengthened because we know we can trust them to hear and validate us when we speak?
Acknowledging someone’s communication is another powerful thing we can do to enhance the way we communicate. When we neglect to acknowledge communication, people can feel that we have either not heard them, not understood them or that we are just being rude. This leads to misunderstandings and arguments.
A common reason for not acknowledging communication is that we may not agree with what has been said and don’t want to appear as if we do. I want to dispel the myth that if we acknowledge what someone has said, we automatically agree with it. It does NOT tie us in to an agreement or a disagreement. Acknowledgement serves only to let others know that we have heard and understood them and it prevents confusion and resentful feelings.
What we give out, comes back. If we start to communicate this way, an exchange will occur. Others will communicate with us similarly. We will feel listened to and heard, we will feel that others are interested in us, and our opinions. Our rapport with others will increase.
When our rapport with someone improves, all things improve. Our understanding and knowledge of each other increases and we find we have common interests and likes. We agree on certain things. Our respect and liking for each other grows. And a friendship is formed.
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